Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, and you’re free to agree or disagree with me :)
Recently, I saw a message on my whatsapp group that read –
“Beneath every strong, independent woman lies a broken little girl who had to learn how to get back up & to never depend on anyone”.
I saw the same picture on facebook too. Many women appreciated the message, but that got me thinking – does it mean that a woman becomes independent only if someone hurts her ( in most cases, a man becomes the villain). I always wonder why people just generalize.
For women like me, independence just comes naturally. No one has hurt us, neither did we depend on anyone or trust someone so much that we became independent overnight. Our parents just treated us like a human being (with some additional conditions like no roaming out after certain time, no solo trips etc). But overall, we were taught to chase our dreams, and live independently just like a man does. So when I see these preachy messages on independent women, I almost mentally kill those people who post such stuff.
So let us just dissect this independent women theory and find out who is this independent woman.
An independent woman is:
Someone who does not ask for special favors: She can swim in the ‘big bad corporate world’ just like a man. She is aware of the glass ceiling, and she will work hard to break it. She does not whine about – just because I am a woman, my ideas are thrashed etc. She will work hard to make her ideas work. Also unlike what was shown in YFilms’ ‘Man’s world’ episode, an independent woman won’t run home when she gets her periods. She works (with or without her monthly troubles) as hard as any human being would do.
Someone who is just another human being:
- she doesn’t care if you do not accompany her to the cafeteria or to the movie (she loves her own company)
- she doesn’t care if a man doesn’t open the door or pull back a chair for her (she has two hands, she can do it herself)
- she doesn’t care if a man of her father’s age sits in the ladies seat
- neither does she mind if some guy forgets about chivalry and stuffs his plate first.
She doesn’t think too high of herself. She looks at herself as just another human being.
Not just financially independent but mentally strong too: One of the most common myths about an independent woman is that she earns well and is hence independent. That’s not the case. Even a widowed, illiterate woman becomes independent when she stops sympathizing for herself and starts living in the big bad world. So no matter how much you ridicule Nirupa Roy, you can call her an example of independent woman because she single-handedly raised her sons in Deewar. There are several women like her in real life and they are the apt definition for independent women.
So people, stop putting women on a pedestal. As Salman bhai said ‘mujh par ek ehsaan karna, ki mujhpar koi ehsaan na karna’. We don’t want any extra respect vespect from anyone. Just treat us like a normal human being. If we are truly independent, we will survive.
P.S.: If you really want to show some respect to women – just stop abusing people by using women’s anatomy as abuses. Things can be said without abusing people – try doing that!