Respect Her!!!

  • Mr. Maharaja Kaushik- the coach of Women's Hockey Team has been accused of sexually harassing the players.
  • 3 minor girls get raped and killed in Nehru Nagar- Kurla, Mumbai
  • A recent survey stated that Delhi is considered to be the most unsafe place in India for Women. Around 85% women said that they do not feel safe in Delhi. Goa is also considered unsafe by foreign tourists.

Welcome friends, welcome to a Nation where women are considered nothing less than a Sex object.

Welcome to a nation, where on one hand a women is called the Lakshmi of the house (obviously, it is she who brings Gold and money to your home in the form of dowry) and on the other she is treated as a burden to the family (Because in India it is the responsibility of a girl's father to conduct a marriage at their expense).

Pardon me for this nonsensical rant, but could not stop myself from ranting.

Today as I flipped through the pages of a newspaper, I found more than half of the newspaper carrying stories about Rapes, Sexual Harassments and Molestation. Tired, I switched on the TV and was greeted by the same Rape, Sexual Harassment stories. I switched off the TV and sat on the veranda only to find an uncle residing in the opposite building slapping his wife black and blue. It was a sick sight to watch. We complained to the Cops for the nth time, who took him to the station for the nth time and sent him back for the nth time because his loyal wife is scared to complain against him.

India is a nation of diversity, and not just languages and culture; even the treatment meted out towards women in different parts of the country proves this.

So while a girl child is welcomed as Lakshmi or Durga in West Bengal or Southern States, a girl born in Punjab or Haryana is considered to be a huge burden to the family and is often killed after birth. Often, the mother who has given birth to a girl child is sent back home as though she has committed a crime. The father of the child seldom realizes that it is his chromosomes that determine the sex of the child. So shouldn't he be punished for committing this heinous crime.

Obviously, I have no answers to my questions but yes I do have some wishes that I hope gets fulfilled some day:

I hope that the honorable Judiciary System takes a note of the crimes meted out towards women and make the laws more stringent.

  • I hope that girls stop bowing down to the atrocities meted out to them. Set an Example by saying a FIRM NO to something which is against your wish. It could be forced sex, forced marriage anything.

  • I hope that the government does something about protecting the women. Sheila Dixit are you listening?

  • I hope that every family treats women as equal and treat them with respect.

  • I hope that the media does not make such stories a fodder to fill their space and time. It's good to inform people but definitely not good to harp over it.

  • But most importantly, I hope that Women do not keep quiet and learn to fight for themselves.


Neha said...

G3, very thought provoking post..but as the saying goes - easy said than done..the fault lies in our upbringing and is a sin to break an abusive marriage, or complaint against husband, demanding dowry is a normal thing to do - our age old tradition and custom and such..these questions will always remain unanswered!

Insignia said...


All said and done, what is it that has to be done? I think we have the solution as well, but its a long long way to get that implemented. Its been nurtured in our society that way.

Tough to root it out. And eve if there are few initiatives regrading it, there are group of people who start talking about how Bharatiya naari must be.. Sad

BK Chowla, said...

It has a lot to do with the society, education, upbringing and of course the legal system.
Mark my words,if this attitude towards the women doesn't change,they will take to streets and may take law into thier own hands.
I would expect media to play a major role in this by highlighting the issue rather than using such incidents to gain TRPs.
I would recommend and support women org taking up the cause--not for politics but for real.

Bikramjit Singh Mann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bikramjit Singh Mann said...

Well Gayathri fully agree with you about the situation BUT I dont agree with this about society, education etc etc We are in 2010, Beleive me
WE the so called MODERN people who keep ranting on society and what we are told ,
WE who say we have to change ..

The question is EVEN we when we marry our daughters or our sisters or our friends.. WE BELIEVE in the fact that WOMEN are second grade.

this will come as a shock but it is true we need to look in ourself into our own mind and heart DONT WE. The problem is not the society or anything like that ..

The problem is US as individual HUMAN beings, do we as individuals talk about women as we talk about our OWN sister,mother,wife, friend.. We will always find a problem in so and so .. and not in our own.
KHUD KE GHAR MAIN JO HO RAHA HAI WOH SAHI HAI.. the same thing happening in others house is a tragedy.

A girl who is goign through a abusive marriage, a woman who has been abused or treated bad will still advice her daughter about how to accept this or that WHY ?

parents when they have a daughter first reaction is Oh My GOD... this is famous in PUNJAB even TODAY.
I had a massive fight with a friend i know we came to blows because when he had a baby daughter I rung him his WIFE answered and in my usual cheerful thing i sais bhabhijaan badhai, baby born and her reply was "What badhai.. 15-20 lakhs RS gone .. " and this lady is a MBBS, doing MD, and that too with a GOLD MEDAL, she is educated, so forget about society or roots or anything , ITS US, what is societ its US, we make this society...

So till we change ourself , till we start to respect women, Till we start to actually think they are goddes durga or laxmi .. TILL THEN NOTHING IS GONNA CHANGE..

its ok to have groups and the so called organisations but who is running these organisations and groups its US the mere mortals .. who when reach home have a different attitude.

How many of us have women helping hand in our houses , look into ourselves how do WE treat them..

How many of us have girl children working for us .. how do WE treat them

How many of us have seen a GIRL child BEGGING on streets , how do WE treat them ...

its ok to say have organistaions but that is not going to change a dime, Till we change.. in orissa the average age of girls having sex is 17/18 , Can you beleive that and that is a FACT.. in punjab its 19.. Who are these girls having it off with .. the same group ages MALES.. so these people whould be in School studying the MODERN day education they are doing it .. The society is actually moving backwards.. Did we hear this happening in years ago..

The society was in some odd way BETTER then what it is now ..

:) ooops i ma going on and on and on I should have written a article myself .. I prey and hope that if I have a daughter I dont go OMG, and celebrate her birth as we do for a son.

WE --US -- ME-- I have to change our outlook and stop feeling sorry for women and actually do something about it .. next time we see a women being abused WE shoudh ave the guts to stand up, next time we see a girl being outraged we should have the guts to open our stupid mouth which opens at seeing a film star walk by...

the solution is ME...

Bikramjit Singh Mann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bikramjit Singh Mann said...

for some reason its posted thrice :) Sorry

A S said...


hmmmmmm.... well said and very powerfully expressed views... I can understand yaar, but the worst part is that even the most educated families do such obnoxious behaviour too..

Sangeeta said...

more dan anything its high time the society stp interfering in others' personal lives and influence their lives as per the way it wants. its high time the educated people come forwrd and proactivly take actions against dese crimes rather dan sitting in their shells lik cowards. its we who have to change ourslvs from within. parents should say a firm NO to dowry evn if da gurl remains a spinster for her entire life

Anita :) said...

Hmm... commenting on this could turn out to be a blog post in itself.

Women do not react. Thats one main issue, and they consider themselves unequal, which is why they fight for equality. Another thing is, we are treated badly, but if we say it we are called 'feminists'. I'm sure if you write one more write up on this, people will call you that. Everyone expects women to bear the atrocities, and not talk about it.Thats how it was, thats how it is, and thats how its gonna be. It is basically a sickening truth.

Shail said...

Yeah, women have to be respected. But first she has to respect herself.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

Hi neha...i agree with ur statement that the fault lies in our upbringing. It's really sad, girls who r not mentally, physically or emotionally traumatized go for divorce after a fight over a petty matter and ladies who r actually traumatized keep continuing in an abusive marriage. Ladies should learn to stand for themselves. I don't when this would happen.

Hi Insignia...More than Bharatiya Nari, girls bear the problems or the family discourage the breaking of a marriage because they are more bothered about what would the society say? This is the disadvantage of being a social animal

Hello Chowla Sir, even I hope that the NGOs support the causes of the women without politicizing it. Also, I pray that the judiciary system upgrades the existing laws. Case Proceedings should move faster and DESERVING women should get justice.

Bikram, wow that was a big but a valid comment. I can't believe that your doctor friend actually cribbed about the fact her 15-20 lakhs r gone just coz she gave birth to a girl child. Sorry to say, she is just literate not educated. Imagine if she says that, what would illiterate or less educated women say?

Hi AS, exactly the so-called EDUCATED families give and take dowry. Seriously they should be ashamed of themselves.

Hi sangi, I agree with u...parents should be firm. But for parents to be firm, it is the girl who should be firm. She should say a firm 'NO' to dowry. And Educated Family is a farce...they are just plain literates. An educated family is one which thinks logically and follows social mores that are practical and teaches the kids to do the same.

I agree with u Anita...we don't react which is one reason why all these atrocities take place. But logic samjha nahi...if we r weak, how can we bear atrocities. Atrocities should be borne by strong people right? Now do u tell a weak person to lift huge weights...nah u tell a strong person to do it. So if women are weak n men r strong then logically atrocities should be borne by men. N if women are strong, then stop calling them weak sex, what say?

Shail, i agree with u. Women should first respect themselves so as to gain respect from others. Thanks and welcome to my blog :)

Dr Roshan R said...

sadly, i cant see a way out.. this place is run by a bunch of morons who quote "cultural values" when asked to deal with "honour killings", so personally i dont have much faith in the system.

agree with Bikram's statement too.. see so many docs who talk in much the same way.. its like all the education is restricted to books.. not to a sensible outlook

pRasad said...

I feel this mentality of blaming woman for every small thing will change slowly, with new generation coming..

The reason I feel why women suffer is because they are physically weak, hence easy target , with no fear of repaying back..( How many women go to police ? )..

Therefore, I feel, women should not blindly marry someone , just because he is financially good or because the person says he is totally in love ..

About Sexual harrasments.. Only strict laws and precautions by women will help ..that too till certain extent..I agree with you, that government should do something for for protecting women..

Shobhit said...

I can easily relate to your thoughts as you rightly pointed out in your post.

On my blog, you can read about a girl (a doctor too !) whom I helped elope from her home when she married the guy she loved and the role her 'educated' mother played in spoiling her life.

It's not just men but other women too who help in keeping the women of this country supressed.

It's not just education but something much more deep within us that's required to change the status of women in our country.

eye-in-sty-in said...

I agree with Shail - If women stand up for themselves, things will get much better.

"We complained to the Cops for the nth time, who took him to the station for the nth time and sent him back home for the nth time coz his loyal wife is scared to complain against him"

Next time, click some pics... The "loyal Indian housewife" need not complaint once its on film. If that does not work, buy a BB gun... You can shoot plastic pellets @ the "man" and do some target practise ;-)

As for dowry - parents tend to forget there are less girls than boys in India... According to demand-supply theory, shouldn't it be the boy should be paying the girl's family money :P

RGB said...

For some it's a choice, to stand up and speak for themselves and others around.

For some others, the society gives them no choice - to the extent of nipping them in the bud!

But if each one of us can be role models, refrain from being part of the lousy system, and stand up for this just cause, maybe we can make a significant difference, in our home, society, country and the world at large!

The Holy Lama said...

Iam just plain afraid of future. The sex ratio is getting worse by the day. Shilpa garg's h sums the condition, even govt is happy the way it is.

HaRy!! said...

there is a tamil movie comedy... check this link - watch from 00:48

hope yu understand that, here an old lady kills a girl baby because it is considered to be a burden for which Vivek says that I need to kill a small girl baby as well, but she is 80 year old... meaning its the old lady who tries to kill the girl baby itself...! there ought to be some law like that :)!..anyways the most powerful is women power and then i say to my girl all the time..." its the fate of being born as a girl... yu need to watch, careful go safe, pls i beg yu!! call me once yu reach" OMG... thats the prob!
how can yu say this to be a nonsensical rant! :(!!

HaRy!! said...

and yeah wanted to say this

Well G3, amongst all my bloggers I like yurs ,Neha, Chriz and Bindu the most...and no wonder I made a comment as its unusual of yu :) ... its not expecting but then yu feel disappointed when they assume wrong.. anyways I know if not for a reason yu wont comment it wrongly :)!! just take a look at my post.. there are so many who thought its me... wonder who reads my blog :(!...

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

Hi Dr Roshan R, Yes Education is strictly restricted to books only. A sad but a bitter truth. Honor Killings are rampant in the country, I don't understand whats so honorable about killing innocent people?

Hi Prasad, i feel a woman should stop bearing atrocities, she should consider herself strong, only then will the society respect her. And i liked this statement of your's: I feel, women should not blindly marry someone , just because he is financially good or because the person says he is totally in love .. A recent survey by Hindustan Times showed that women like rich and chauvinistic men instead of progressive but decent earning men. Weird indeed.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

Hi Shobhit, I agree with u...a women is equally responsible for creating havoc in another woman's life. Really more than education, its the deeply engraved norms and mores that needs to be changed.

hi eye in sty in...yes will shoot him the next time with camera or with plastic bullets, isi bahane shooting kii practice ho jayegi. Oh yes that's a nice theory...mere dhimaak mein kyun nahi aaya...good the next time a guy comes to see me, I would ensure that it is he who should shell out money and not vice-a-versa

Hi RGB, I agree with u...agar accha nahi kar sakte ho toh kam se kam bura bhi mat karo :)

Hi holy lama...yes the situation is getting just worse...i wonder why the government keeps mum. I saw Shilpa's post and i agree with ur comment, the good side was the civic sense being put into people's mind but the down side is that women are not safe at all.

Hi hary, I saw that video...thank god for your explanation, else i would have found it difficult to understand. It's sad that the lady wants to kill the girl child, i mean how can a woman consider a girl to be a burden? Like you said, my dad keeps calling me every day to confirm that I am fine, I am in company with girls when I am coming late at night etc (he says thats an added responsibility in his daddy's job profile). N thanks, seriously I felt bad that i did not read the post with full attention. My apologies, as promised I will write a guest post jab tum kahoge :)

eye-in-sty-in said...

Yaar G3, Sahi mein dahej mat le le naa... jail ho gayi to tumhare paas mera no bhi nahi hai to call me for bailing u out :P

(and haan, jail nahi hui, to 25% dahej ka hissa dena mat bhoolna :D)

pRasad said...

Indeed..she should consider herself strong..That's really important.